Motherhood Monday: Book reviews for National Adoption Month

 This month instead of reading of a book review, you are getting two for the price of one! November is National Adoption Month, a time to celebrate as families who have grown through adoption and a chance to grow awareness to the needs for more adoptive and foster parents both domestically and internationally. I'm going to share two books that are widely used with the church as resources in providing Biblical vision for adoption with families and the church and ways to provide compassionate care for children who have experienced trauma and loss through adoption.

Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families and Churches by Russell Moore

I love this book because although this book is a wonderful, Christ-centered resource on adoption for adoptive and potential adoptive families, this book is also a resource for any follower of Jesus. Russell Moore, president of the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention, and his wife, Maria, adopted two sons from Russia 18 years ago, and Moore has written this book to the church, sprinkled with bits of his own journey.

Here is a bit of how Moore frames this book in the first chapter,

 

        "We believe Jesus in heavenly things--our adoption in Christ; so we follow him in earthly things--  the adoption of children. Without the theological aspect, the emphasis on adoption too easily is seen as mere charity. Without the missional aspect, the doctrine of adoption too easily is seen as mere metaphor...The gospel of Jesus Christ means our families and churches out to be at the forefront of adoption of orphans close to home and around the world. As we become more attuned to the gospel, we'll have more of a burden for orphans. As we become more adoption-friendly, we'll be better able to understand the gospel...Adoption is about an entire culture without our churches, a culture that sees adoption as part of our Great Commission mandate and as a sign of the gospel itself...For some of us, I hope this book changes the makeup of our households. For some of us, I hope it helps change our monthly bank account balances. For all of us, I hope it changes something of the way we say 'brother' and 'sister' in our pews next Sunday and the way we cry out 'Father' on our knees tonight."

Adopted for Life provides chapters about our adoption by God, the role of Joseph (Jesus' "adoptive" father), how to counsel friends struggling with infertility or those considering adoption, the practical steps of adoption (domestic v. international, homestudies, etc.), how to think through questions and preferences in adoption (should you select a gender, race, health status, etc.), and how churches can encourage adoption and support adoptive families. It balances thinking through the practical with always seeing everything through the lens of Scripture and Gospel.

 

The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family by Dr. Karyn Purvis

This book is especially helpful to parents of children who have welcomed children from other countries and cultures, from troubled backgrounds or with special behavioral or emotional needs. The late Dr. Karyn Purvis, was a mother, grandmother, foster parent, pastor’s wife and developmental psychologist, worked with her colleagues at Texas Christian University's Institute of Child Development to create a holistic, comprehensive, research-based approach to healing vulnerable children called Trust-Based Relational Intervention. Empowered to Connect, initially a local church ministry, and then expanded into a national conference (often simulcast at Crossroads Bible Church each year) is based primarily off of Dr. Purvis' work.

Dr. Purvis encourages adoptive to parents to look beyond specific behavior to the heart, fear, and real needs or children who have come from hard places. She encourages ways for adoptive parents to create healthy attachment in children who have been isolated or mistreated to build trust, and walks parents how to deal with hard behavior and discipline in ways that provide compassionate correction. This book provides helpful tools to give children opportunities for success through things like routine, clear expectations and preparation, and avoiding overload.

The Connected Child does not see adoptive children as simply damaged by the world and others sins, but teaches how God miraculously created the brain in ways that can be healed and provides hope to parents on practical ways God can use them to draw their children into healthy understanding of family the way He created.

These books can be a great starting point, but Crossroads also has an Adoption + Orphan Care ministry, overseen by Angel and Russell Virgilio. If you are interested in ways to care for adoptive families, orphans or are considering adoption or foster care, they can direct you to more extensive resources available through the church or connect you to adoptive and foster families in our body.