Today in our final interview in the Grandparents and Home School series, we're joined by the woman who taught me everything I know about...well, basically everything! I asked my mom, Vickie Thomson, to answer some questions as a home school mom-graduate, now home school grandma, and about her (our) home school story.
Me: When were you homeschooling and why did you decide to homeschool your kids? Looking back, in what ways did you see God's work through your home school and what would you say was the most rewarding part of homeschooling?
Vickie: We were homeschooling in what I like to call “The Golden Age of Homeschooling in Los Alamos.” I'll explain why shortly.
We moved to Los Alamos in 1988 when our two daughters were 18 months old and four years old and one of the reasons we were excited to move here was because the public schools had such a good reputation. And, honestly, I had no idea that homeschooling was even an option. The only homeschooler I'd ever met was a mom who was a missionary in a remote part of Mindinao in the Philippines. I happened to sit next to her on an airplane. I remember thinking, “I didn't know you could do that!”
We joined one of the precursors to Crossroads, Trinity Bible Church, and it was full of homeschooling families! So I watched them—and was pretty sure that wasn't for us. Our older daughter, when the time came, thrived in public school, with only a couple of hiccups. She learned easily and loved it.
Our younger daughter was another story. Kindergarten was wonderful. Her teacher was a jewel. Second grade, her teacher was a sweetheart, but had definitely bought into the philosophies of the world. The worst crime in her book was smoking--never mind immorality, stealing, or murder. By fourth grade, the situation became impossible. Every single day our daughter came home crying. I thought, “She'll adjust. It'll just take time.” But she didn't. When I talked to the teacher about the problem, she didn't see a problem. As it turned out, the teacher had a group of uncontrollable (by her) little boys in her class. To make them behave, she'd put our daughter with them to “separate them” because she was such a good little girl. So she was exposed to their bad language and actions. The little girls in the class took the opportunity to ostracize our daughter. I think it must have been a “mean girls” phase.
About the same time our older daughter was taking sex ed classes, so I sat in and the ones I sat in on were fine—not taught the way I'd have chosen, but adequate. Then one day I couldn't attend the session and that day the subject of bestiality came up. Great. Just what I want my young daughters exposed to.
Even though I helped in their classrooms and was frequently there, we were always having to combat the ideas of self-centeredness (“Look out for number one”, you know more than your elders, disrespect, girls are smarter than boys, unhealthy competition) and other ideas that the world embraces. Our children got in trouble for taking their Bibles to school. Instead of being able to raise our children in the Lord, we were constantly battling bad habits and bad exposures in their lives.
So at the end of our younger daughter's fourth grade year, we realized that it couldn't go on. We had to rescue her from that situation. We thought the older one was doing well and would want to stay—she was about to enter 7th grade—but she surprised us by saying that she wanted to be home educated too! The bottom line was that we came to realize that the Lord wanted us to homeschool.
We knew that we wanted our children to have a Christian education. In fact, we wanted to see them discipled for the Lord. So my husband and I went to a homeschool conference in Arizona to learn how. The New Mexico conference had already passed that year. And there the featured speaker's theme was that education wasn't the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire. That made sense to me.
Through homeschooling, God took our entire family on a spiritual journey. It was humbling, it was exhausting, it was 24-7. And the first couple of years were an uphill climb. If I hadn't had Christian friends who were veteran homeschool moms, I wouldn't have made it. I cried on their shoulders multiple times. (Hello, Gretta Christensen and Joy Kunsberg!) And there were times when both girls and I would sit in our big rocking chair and all cry together.
We had to trust God. I knew I wasn't adequate for this huge responsibility. What if I ruined their lives? What if they couldn't get into college? What if they never had friends? What if we failed to cover something major? We saw that God was in control. Things got better. We saw God lead and supply what we needed so many times. I'd see an interesting book at a used book store and take it home, only to learn that that was exactly what we needed for a certain subject. There would be a chance conversation with someone that would open a door.
One day we were at Bandelier and a woman I knew slightly was sitting at a picnic table while her daughter built a dam in the stream. We chatted and she said, “Christina is learning about hydraulics today.” You can do that? After that we incorporated learning places besides home. Some days we took our lessons to Bandelier. We would go visit my parents for a couple of weeks at a time. Our kids did school in hospital waiting rooms when family members were sick—and they learned compassion, kindness, and helpfulness. They learned what was really important. They learned about archaeology from their Uncle Mike who was an archaeologist. They learned about horses from their Aunt Molly, farming and cattle from their grandad, our family heritage from both grandparents.
One of the big things was seeking the Lord's leading. We studied history beginning at the beginning. I used the Bible and sought out resources. I'd bring home piles and piles of books from the library to research. And pretty soon it became obvious that books I was bringing home from the library didn't agree with God's Word. I had to decide who I was going to trust—God who had always been there, or man whose theories changed constantly and whose best knowledge was incomplete.
I literally fell on my knees. “Oh, Lord, I want to believe You. Help me in my unbelief.” The next time I went to the library and brought home my stack of books, there was one in the pile that believed the Scriptures were history—and it went on to show how that could be. After that I was able to find lots of materials to support what God said in His Word. The Lord was leading us in this adventure!
We weren't perfect educators. But we did the best we could in the power of the Holy Spirit and trusted that God would fill in the blanks. He did. He provided a wonderful homeschool choir, a worldview class that encompassed that subject and so much more, a constitutional law class, spelling bees. We (and other homeschoolers) produced a homeschool newspaper with the students writing the articles and producing the publication. He opened a window for our children to not only do debate and speech with a homeschool league, but also to be involved with godly friends on a speech team that competed with public schools, thus letting our children be exposed to the “world” (speech can be a pretty nasty subject because kids are encouraged to “push the envelope”) but we were there to lend perspective and support. We had fun. We got to share our faith. We got to be conscious of our witness before nonchristians whom we saw regularly.
Sometimes I'd invent a game to help with history facts and the girls would compete with one another. We'd play “who can find the country first?” on a globe or map for geography. We'd read Shakespeare, each taking two or three parts. We put on Hamlet with other homeschoolers. We were involved in our church. Our children learned to minister as well as be ministered to. They learned to do church events because I did church events. And maybe, most precious of all, they developed relationships with godly women at church who really cared about them. Those godly friendships still exist now that our daughters are grown and homeschooling their children.
The best result? I see both of my daughters walking with the Lord, raising their children in the Lord, ministering in their churches, and serving others.
Me: In what ways can homeschoolers involve and utilize grandparents in their homeschool?
Those conferences gave me vision and encouragement and taught me how-tos. I wasn't alone. And in many ways, they were like an annual revival, drawing me closer to the Lord, reminding me why I was doing this. Showing me that it was a worthwhile calling. Then came the time that the girls were old enough to attend with us. They loved it! They saw friends they'd made through Christian debate tournaments. It was a joy for our family each year.
Back to grandparents. I think the biggest thing, aside from enabling us to attend the conferences, was just the way they loved and supported our daughters. They didn't always understand what we were doing, but they were encouraging and loving.
That brings me to what my husband and I try to do to help. We are still in the 24/7 educational mode and always try to help our grandchildren learn as they spend time with us. When we give gifts, we try to keep in mind what they are learning and seek games, toys, equipment that will further their education. We also help with the cost of some curriculums and such that are needed. And our library (we did acquire a lot of books over the years) is always open to them. We also just love to spend time with them.
It's harder with our grandaughters who don't live near us. We try to take an interest in what they are interested in. Practically it mostly comes down to gifts. We try to give gifts that they'll like and that will help them in their education.
Two things we consciously try to do: we try to be supportive to our children as they raise their children in the Lord and reinforce what they teach. And we try to teach our grandchildren about their family heritage to help give them roots and a vision of the continuity of life. It's showing our grandchildren their place in history.
Me: What would you like to tell homeschool moms today (maybe something that helped you, or that you wish someone had told you?)
Vickie: Trust the Lord. Seek Him. You aren't going to be a perfect homeschool mom, teacher, whatever. Ask for what you need. Friends? Help with math? A way to communicate a certain concept? God is good and he wants us to train our children in godliness and for them to have a godly perspective on the world. He wants us to disciple them, because that's what homeschool is. It has a way of showing you what's really important.
Another thing I'd urge homeschool families to do: go to a good Christian homeschool conference. It's your professional conference. You'd go to trainings for another career, wouldn't you? Don't try to tough it out alone.
Are you lonely? Ask God to provide you with mature, godly
friends who will encourage you in what He's called you to do. It may not come
at the pace you want it to (after all, He wants you to depend first on Him),
but He will provide. He did for me!
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